Skiing

Skiing is a dance, and the mountain always leads. ~Author Unknown
Stretch pants – the garment that made skiing a spectator sport. ~Author Unknown
There are really only three things to learn in skiing: how to put on your skis, how to slide downhill, and how to walk along the hospital corridor. ~Lord Mancroft, A Chinaman in the Bath, 1974
The sport of skiing consists of wearing three thousand dollars’ worth of clothes and equipment and driving two hundred miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and get drunk. ~P.J. O’Rourke, Modern Manners, 1984
Gotta use your brain, it’s the most important part of your equipment. ~Kevin Andrews and Warren Miller, Extreme Skiing
When it comes to skiing, there’s a difference between what you think it’s going to be like, what it’s really like, and what you tell your friends it was like. ~Author Unknown
The sensual caress of waist deep cold smoke…. glory in skiing virgin snow, in being the first to mark the powder with the signature of their run. ~Tim Cahill
Skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg. ~Author Unknown
I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill. ~Erma Bombeck
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. ~Dave Barry
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. ~Steven Wright
The sun is bright and the powder bitchin’. ~Author Unknown
Traverse: One of two ways to stop while skiing. Tree: The other method. ~Author Unknown
All things are possible, except for skiing through a revolving door. ~Author Unknown
Gravity is love and every turn is a leap of faith. ~Author Unknown
Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk. ~Author Unknown
There’s no waiting for friends on a powder day. ~Author Unknown
Snow: a form of precipitation that usually occurs three weeks prior to and the morning of your departure from your ski vacation. ~Author Unknown
Turn right, turn left, repeat as necessary. ~Author Unknown
The ski bum trades security for face shots, the future for the moment. Considering how hollow the promise of a corporate career has become, who can say the ski bum is not the wiser investor in his or her youth? ~Author Unknown
If you aren’t crashing, you aren’t skiing. ~Author Unknown
Kids today, all they talk about is big air. I say, stay on the mountain, that’s where the action is. If you want big air, pull my finger. ~Smooth Johnson
Powder snow skiing is not fun. It’s life, fully lived, life lived in a blaze of reality. ~Dolores LaChapelle
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough…. I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding. ~Dave Barry
If you marry a skier, marry tall – they walk with their knees bent ten months out of the year. ~Author Unknown
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. ~Author Unknown
I think my favorite sport in the Olympics is the one in which you make your way through the snow, you stop, you shoot a gun, and then you continue on. In most of the world, it is known as the biathlon, except in New York City, where it is known as winter. ~Michael Ventre, L.A. Daily News

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