Housework

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. ~Rudyard Kipling
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck
Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I. ~Anne Gibbons
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966
Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don’t do it. ~Author Unknown
Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy. ~Author Unknown
Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum – “My God, the floor’s immaculate. Lie down, you hot bitch.” ~Joan Rivers
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean. ~Erma Bombeck
I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. ~Heloise Cruse
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on. ~Roseanne Barr
The trouble with living alone is that it’s always your turn to do the dishes. ~Author Unknown
There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968
Housework, if it is done right, can kill you. ~John Skow
I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home…. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmody
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. ~Author Unknown
This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, “Honey, do this,” and “Honey, do that” around the house. ~Jim Lemon
The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes. ~Agatha Christie
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. ~Author Unknown
The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they’d never clean anything. ~Dave Barry
I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. ~C.E. Cowman
There’s nothing to match curling up with a good book when there’s a repair job to be done around the house. ~Joe Ryan
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. ~Kin Hubbard
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you? ~Erma Bombeck
You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty. ~Cecil Baxter
A clean house is the sign of a boring person. ~Author Unknown
We labor to make a house a home, then every time we’re expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house. ~Robert Brault
I enjoy mowing the lawn, it relaxes me. It gets me outdoors, it’s good exercise, the freshly cut grass smells great, and the engine is loud enough that I’m sure no one else can hear my thoughts – or intrude upon them. ~Astrid Alauda
Old houses mended,
Cost little less than new before they’re ended.
~Colley Cibber
Cleanliness is next to impossible. ~Author Unknown
They’re sure housework won’t kill you, but why take the risk? Author Unknown
Vacuums don’t clean houses. People clean houses. ~Everybody Loves Raymond, “Humm Vac,” written by Lew Schneider, original airdate 19 March 2001, spoken by the character Marie Barone
When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. ~Katharine Whitehorn, “Nought for Homework,” Roundabout, 1962
This mess is a place! ~Author Unknown
My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. ~Bette Midler
I like hugs and I like kisses,
But what I really love is help with the dishes!
~Author Unknown
Three-fourths of the Earth’s surface is water, and one-fourth is land. It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn. ~Chuck Clark
A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Please don’t feed the dust bunnies. ~Author Unknown
It’s all in the attitude – housework is exercise. Slim your way to a clean home! ~Linda Solegato
When you use a manual push mower, you’re “cutting” down on pollution and the only thing in danger of running out of gas is you! ~Grey Livingston
If the shelves are dusty and the pots don’t shine,
it’s because I have better things to do with my time.
~Author Unknown
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. ~G.M. Weilacher
There is no daily chore so trivial that it cannot be made important by skipping it two days running. ~Robert Brault
Dust is just a country accent. ~Author Unknown
The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished and put inside boxes. ~Dave Barry
I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It’s amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor. ~D.H. Lawrence
Thank God for dirty dishes,
they have a tale to tell;
while others may go hungry,
we’re eating very well.
~Author Unknown
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. ~James Dent
This house is protected by killer dust bunnies. ~Author Unknown
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ~Hoosier Farmer
There may be dust in my house but there isn’t any on me. ~Author Unknown
God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. ~Author Unknown

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